New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure American cheese is cheese. I think it's aged Jell-O. And it doesn't need to be individually wrapped in plastic, either. You're thinking of condoms.

Bill Maher
Some Similar Quotes
  1. I have something I need to tell you, " he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you,... - Veronica Roth
  2. I love you like a fat kid loves cake! - Scott Adams
  3. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. - Lemony Snicket
  4. When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?"... - Erma Bombeck
  5. And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders. - Cassandra Clare
More Quotes By Bill Maher
  1. There's an old, frequently-used definition of insanity, which is "performing the same action over and over, expecting different results.".. Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic....Other symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia are: Do...
  2. I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
  3. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
  4. The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs.
  5. Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.
Related Topics